7/1 - Chiang Mai

My first official day in Chiang Mai started at about 5am because after waking up at 2,3 and 4, I surrendered to jetlag and got out of bed and went for a walk.  I really like 5am walks.  First, it was cool out and not raining.  Second, at 5am there are only old people and monks on the street.  Third, most importantly, 7-11 is open for a first day shopping spree!  Yii-sip sii cha-mong! (24 hours!). 

Unfortunately, I bought my favorite drink from last time and it was sickeningly sweet. That made me really sad.  I'm going to give it the Dad treatment (dilute it with water) and see if that helps.  

In addition to my disappointing pomegranate green tea drink, my 7-11 shopping spree included shampoo, body wash, a toothbrush, toothpaste, face wash, mouthwash, deodorant, nail clippers, and a razor all for about $5.  Aaaamazing.  And 7-11s are actually an expensive place to buy that kind of stuff.  Tesco would have been even cheaper, but there aren't Tescos at every corner, so I went with a 7-11.

I met Josh Plotnick (clarinet buddy from OHS, in Thailand studying elephants) for some breakfast.  That was cool.  I'm not allowed to talk about his top-secret elephant studies, but all I can say is that elephants are way cooler (smarter, more human-like) that you could ever imagine.  Possibly more human than some actual humans. Maybe we should say that we are actually elephant-like.  Hmm... 

So after breakfast I got ready for my trip to Mae Rim School where my friend Phra (monk) Em works.  For those of you who may have forgotten, I went on a trip with a group of Monks I met in January 2008.  Phra Em was one of the leaders of the trip.  We became friends and kept in touch.  When I met him, he was a student at the monk university and now he's doing an apprenticeship at a local school.  He teaches Buddhism to students in a public school.  I don't know the specifics of it - if it's a required, if people of other religions don't have to take it, if it's an elective kids can choose if they want - no idea. 

But in the school, there's a little room that says "Moral Education" and students walk in and out. Wait, I need to back up a minute.  My friend Phra Em said that he could arrange for a friend of his to give me a ride to the school.  For some strange reason, I assumed that meant a car.  I don't know why.  Probably because it's been over a year since I've lived here.  Definitely not a car.  Definitely a motorbike with a tiny itsy bitsy girl driving it.  And I, trying to dress nice for the school, was wearing a dress, therefore making things even more complicated.  Girls in dresses and skirts are supposed to sit side-saddle on motorbikes. University girls wearing their micro-mini skirts seem to do this effortlessly, but I can't.  Especially if the driver is a fraction of my weight.  I sat normally and and showed way too much leg.  Awkward...  It also started raining.... 

When we got to the school the girl, Som, said she could drive me home too.  I said told her she was really nice, but I would get a red truck.  Eek.  No more being a motorbike passenger while wearing a dress in the rain. Mai ow ka! (No thank you!).  

Phra Em met Som and me at the entrance to the school and walked us in.  Not so surprisingly, he looked pretty much the same.  That's probably what happens when you're a 

monk and your wardrobe consists of an orange robe.  As we entered the classroom/temple I realized there were only chairs for the monks and everyone else has to sit on the ground. Ugh - dress.  So I had to do the (painful) Thai temple sitting.  This means leaning on your hip with you feet kind of swept underneath you.  It's a little uncomfortable, but easy to get used to.  The kicker comes when you try to move your bottom foot and realize it's totally numb.  Pins and needles. Ah! I dealt with this by trying to gracefully switch sides and balance out the pain and discomfort.

The next, "Oh, right, I'm in Thailand" moment came when I opened the bottle of water.  First, I had used lotion earlier that day and the combination of rain and lotion left me completely unable to open the bottle.  I had to ask Som to help me.  When she gave it back,  I brought it straight to my mouth and had a drank.  After about two seconds I saw Phra Em coming back to the table with some glasses.  Oops! Bottles of water are for sharing. Soda, juice - you

 drink by yourself.  Water - you share.  No drinking out of the bottle.  I quickly took it out of my mouth and offered Som and Phra Em some water.  Som said ok, Phra Em said no thanks.  I'm not sure who saw what.

Phra Em invited me to help teach his Buddhism class in English. Uh oh.  Although I frequented Monk Chat and had a bunch of monk friends, I realized I know surprisingly little about Buddhism.  Oops.  We started off easily enough.  Standard Thai first questions - age, marital status, income level, religion.

I figure the religion stuff would come up.  It was a Buddhism class.   

 

Here were my thoughts:  I feel kind of Jewish, but I didn't want to start explaining nursery school menorahs and coloring book hagaddahs, so I said that I didn't have a religion and that I believed in a higher power but it wasn't specifically God or Buddha or Allah or anything like that.  Phra Em had to help me out but even he couldn't find Thai words for "higher power" because, I assume, the word is just Buddha.  Or Jesus or God if you're Christian.  So that was weird.  They were asking me how I know the right thing to do and what happens when I die.  I said that most religions usually teach the same things and I also decided for myself what rules are important to live by.  And I don't know what is going to happen after I die but I am okay with that. They stared at me like I was telling them that grass is blue and the sky is green.  They asked what religions I like, I said all.  They asked which ones I liked the most, I said none.  I asked if I was the first person they had met who didn't  have a religion and every single student said yes.

  

They also asked me why Christians pray with the fingers intertwined instead of with their hands against each other like Buddhists.  Didn't know how to answer that one.  I said each religion has a way that they pray and that's just the way that Christians pray.  Any better answers? 

Phra Em was writing a lot of English words on the board as we were talking, and when t

he word 'religion' came up, we decided to take a minute and do a brief pronunciation lesson with R/L.   Fun!  I tried to talk about the position of your tongue and mouth and therefore I showed my tongue and my mouth and made everyone feel really uncomfortable, evident by lots of giggling and face hiding.  But they mostly said it correctly after I embarrassed them, so I don't care. 

They also taught me how to pray.  For Thais, different hand heights signify different levels of respect.  If you are praying to a monk or to the King, you put your thumbs between your eyebrows.  Parents, thumbs on your nose.  Teachers, thumbs on your lips.  Older people, thumbs on your chin and everyone else, thumbs on your chest.  That all ma

de sense, but they tested me with the Princess and grandparents and Phra Em.  Answers? Princess, between the eyes for all royalty.  Grandparents, nose because without your grandparents, you wouldn't have your parents.  Phra Em, between the eyebrows cause he's a monk before he's a teacher. Got it!

Even though they stared at me like I was a Martian and were creeped out by my pronunciation lesson, I think they generally liked me, given the requests for pictures with their camera

 phones and "You are beautiful"s I received.

Which brings me to some other things I almost forgot.  First, white skin is beautiful and therefore I am.  Second, I am fat.  These are by no means my thoughts.  Rather, these are statements which are often said by random Thai people, to me, on a daily basis.  

Welcome back to Thailand. =)

After getting a ride back to town in the monk van, I met up with my friend Nong and stupidly suggested walking to get coffee.  It's a bad idea to assume the weather will stay the same for more than 5 minutes.  When we started, it was beautiful.  After no more than 180 seconds, downpour.  My bad.  The Rainy Season is no joke.